We often spend years studying other people. Their personalities. Their relationships. Their motives. Their stories... Yet the greatest mystery you'll ever solve isn't another person - it's yourself. The art of knowing yourself intrinsically is something we don't speak about enough. For the longest time, I thought I knew myself. I knew the things I liked. I knew the things that made me laugh. I knew my favourite musicians, my comfort meals, and the genre of books that spoke to my heart. But I didn't know myself in the way that truly mattered. I didn't know the language my mind, heart, and soul were speaking. I didn't understand why certain things hurt more deeply than others. Why some situations felt unbearable. Or why some emotions arrived like waves that drowned me, whilst others barely made a ripple. I knew what I was feeling. I just didn't always understand why. - Knowing yourself to your core is not simply about your favourite movie or the sport you played growing up. Knowing yourself deeply is about learning the quiet, invisible patterns that shape the way you experience the world. It is about learning your emotional vocabulary. Learning about yourself for who you really are, through a curious lens, is where healing can begin. Understand your darkest fears, wildest dreams, deepest desires, and biggest passion in life. Understand your unconscious patterns, your identity and sense of self, how you show and receive love, your emotions, your vulnerabilities, and your childhood. Understand the past versions of yourself, the trauma you've faced, your self-image, your inner critic, and your needs. Understand your triggers and warning signs. Ask yourself all the deep questions about what ignites your soul, what fulfillment means to you, and whether you are living authentically. Question what true love means in your eyes, whether you still carry old wounds from your childhood, and who you truly are when no one is watching... Self-awareness isn't developed by reading a list on the internet. It is developed through continuous genuine curiosity and radical honesty. To show you what I mean, I wanted to do something that feels slightly uncomfortable. Rather than simply telling you to learn yourself, I want to show you what learning myself has looked like. Here's what I've discovered through genuine curiosity and radical honesty... My healing: I have made almost zero internal progress since I was age 12 and first started battling mental health issues. Medication kept me stable, but this masked the maladaptive thinking and behavioural patterns I learned over the years. Medication can reduce symptoms but it cannot rewrite negative beliefs, coping strategies, and behavioural patterns we've developed to survive. I've realised I became complacent in my recovery journey as I was taking my medication. But no amount of medication can rectify these things, and therefore I am now actively trying to learn, unlearn, and relearn certain patterns. The way my mind works: I am extremely observant in social situations, and I pick up on small shifts in energy or tone when engaging with other people. This leads me to overthink and over-analyse situations that aren't always worth the concern. I'm a very sensitive person and I feel emotions intensely. I am also incredibly analytical with myself. I have a tendency to intellectualise my feelings and I rarely let myself simply feel an emotion. I immediately want to dissect it. Explain it. Find the psychological theory behind it. Somewhere along the way, understanding became easier than experiencing. I'm uncomfortable with uncertainty and therefore I search for answers and explanations. Another thing I've realised, I see the world in shades of grey - not black and white. I can see the nuances in each situation, and can hold multiple truths simultaneously. Relationships: I long to be deeply known for who I am. Because of this, I'm really sensitive to perceived emotional neglect/rejection. For example, if a friend doesn't check in when they know I'm struggling, my mind immediately catastrophises the situation, leading to negative thoughts of "they don't care about me". My mind then begins to internalise the thought that "no one would miss me if I were gone". I hold loved ones to high expectations or standards - and most of the time they cannot meet them. This leads me to be disappointed in others. I crave true connection within my relationships so deeply, and when people don't match up to this, it hurts. I seek emotional depth in others, and I need to learn some people (no matter how much I love them) are just not capable of providing the level of depth I'm after, and I cannot expect people to meet me at my level. Regarding future romantic relationships, I crave deep love. I want to be seen and loved in the way I love and see others. I desire a love that feels like home and adventure all at once. Deep down, I am a big softie and a romantic. Also I am, for the most part, quite an anxiously-attached individual. I don't want to label myself or box myself into a narrow category, but I seek constant validation and reassurance from others, and I have a deep fear of being abandoned. This causes me to be hypervigilant, as I'm constantly analysing situations looking for hidden signs that something is wrong. This is cognisant of an insecure and anxious attachment style, and this all stems from my childhood. Who I am: I contain multitudes of opposites - I am both introverted and extroverted. I am deeply sensitive, yet also resilient. I am both emotional and logical. I am independent but I also long for real connection. It's funny because my favourite word as a teenager was juxtaposition, and I have bipolar - simultaneous opposites has always been a part of me. I am also a multifaceted and layered individual. I am very imaginative, creative, adventurous, goal-oriented, curious, analytical, silly, wild, passionate, ambitious, determined, and I have a lot of depth to me as a person. Empathy is also a big part of who I am, and I tend to ask "what happened to this person?" rather than "what's wrong with this person?". Also, I value honesty and transparency highly, and communication is massive for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I tell my story to most people I encounter. My name 'Sachini' translates to truth and honesty, and I try to live my life by that ethos. I believe that consistency in honest and transparent communication is so important for any relationship. My struggles: I am extremely impatient and end up seeking quick short-term dopamine fixes to help myself feel better. I am very inconsistent when it comes to working towards long-term goals where you don't see benefits immediately. For example, I know that going to the gym now will help my future self be fitter and healthier. But due to the fact I won't reap the benefits of the gym immediately, I become impatient, and therefore start becoming less consistent. This reduces the momentum, leading to a lack of productivity, and in turn I procrastinate my next steps. To add, I have a perfectionism issue, which leads me to procrastinate majorly or even avoid a task due to a fear of not doing it well enough. I put such pressure on myself to be as close to perfect as I can, even though logically I am aware that perfection is a myth. Also, I struggle with self-esteem and incongruence between my current self and my ideal self. It's funny because I think I'm pretty great in some aspects, but the feeling of self-hatred overwhelms this. My self-hatred comes from me not acting in alignment with my ideal self in regards to behavioural outputs. In essence, my day-to-day actions do not match up to the ideal version of myself. My ideal self is consistent, patient, hard-working, disciplined, driven by values, and able maintain balance. I struggle a lot because of this misalignment and I'm actively trying to reach congruence. But I need to learn my worth is not determined by these external outputs (or lack thereof), but is determined by my kindness, empathy, ambition, passion, courage, authenticity, resilience, creativity, curiosity, and many other internal traits. My fears: I have a lot of big fears. I am afraid of not living up to my potential. Of being mediocre. Of being unfulfilled in every aspect of life. Of never being seen by others for who I truly am. Of not being loved wholeheartedly in the way I desire. I too have a lot of big dreams and goals that I may not ever achieve, which is another fear. Some are related to my career and professional/academic development. Others are related to my day-to-day life in terms of hobbies or activities I want to try. I also have goals to do with my mental and physical wellbeing. But my biggest dream in life is to be content and fulfilled. And I'm scared I won't ever find this. The lesson: A big lesson through all this introspection is that conscious awareness is not the same as an internal belief. I really struggle to internalise certain truths. I am aware of things on one level of consciousness, but I'm currently unable to ingrain these truths and believe them. For example, I have learnt recently there are certain loved ones who are incapable of meeting me at my level of emotional depth - I am aware of this. But that conscious awareness has not travelled into my unconscious mind, and I still find myself getting hurt. Another example regarding perfectionism - I know perfection is not real, I am aware of that, yet I still struggle to implement and internalise that belief deep down. A further observation, I realised I spend much of my life trying to become someone I believe will finally deserve the life I want. I keep believing that once I'm disciplined enough, productive enough, healed enough, successful enough, confident enough... then I'll finally feel worthy. I'm slowly learning that worth was never something I had to earn - it was something I had to recognise from within. - The more I learn about myself, the deeper I want to go. And I'm learning that self-awareness and self-acceptance are about greeting every version of myself with honesty, curiosity, and compassion, rather than with judgement or shame. Curiosity creates space. Judgement closes it. For years, I misunderstood my own mind. Not because it was broken, but because I hadn't learned its language yet. And now, the more I grow, the less interested I am in judging my mind. I'm more interested in continuously understanding it. Everything about yourself - your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours - contain snippets of information about you. Every emotion is speaking to us, trying to communicate. Learn to listen to what your mind and body is trying to tell you. Once you begin to listen to that language, you will slowly learn how to understand, accept, and heal old wounds. Healing isn't about silencing the mind. Nor is it about eliminating the pain. Healing is about becoming more attuned with yourself. It's about slowly learning the language of yourself and responding with compassion instead of criticism. I also want to caveat that self-awareness sounds beautiful, but it is not always comfortable. Sometimes you are faced with harsh realities and truths that you suppressed over the years. Sometimes during thorough introspection, you uncover things you wish weren't true. There will be parts of yourself you struggle to accept, and there will be memories you wish you could rewrite. But the goal of self-awareness isn't to discover all your flaws and weaknesses. It's to understand everything that has made you, you. - All these aspects of myself I just described are not set in stone forever. I, as anyone, am constantly learning, adapting, and evolving. Therefore, continuous dedication to learning about each version of yourself is so impactful in the healing journey. Learning yourself is a lifelong process, and the version of me writing this today won't be the same version of me a decade from now. That's exactly the point. We aren't meant to finish learning ourselves - we're meant to keep introducing ourselves to each new version that emerges. And that's the beauty of humankind. We are not fixed or stuck. Just like the ocean, we are never the same sea twice. The tides retreat. The storms pass. New currents form. Yet somehow, it is still the same ocean. We spend so much of our lives trying to find ourselves. Perhaps we were never meant to be 'found'. Perhaps we were meant to keep learning our own language as it evolves, meeting each new version of ourselves with the same curiosity we'd offer someone we deeply love. And perhaps that is the greatest act of self-love: to spend a lifetime becoming fluent in our own ever-changing soul.

I don't recognise myself anymore... I hate the body that I'm living in. And I hate that I hate it. My mind feels like a hurricane of self-hatred, and the harsh truth I have to face is that I've gained weight and I don't look like I used to. The weight gain came as a byproduct of my mental health medication. It's funny how something that gave me peace and mental stability simultaneously fractured my self-image. Medication quieted the storm inside my mind, but it changed the landscape of my skin. My thoughts are clearer, but my reflection is heavier. It's a strange paradox: being grateful for survival, but also mourning the version of you that you recognised. Sometimes I feel ashamed for grieving it, because this body is the way it is because I survived. But the gratitude and grief are both valid, and both deserve space. Looking in the mirror is a painful and excruciating experience for me these days. I feel like a foreigner in my own body, like I'm living in someone else's skin. I don't just see the weight when I look at myself. I see a stranger - a lost, confused, grieving girl who can't figure out how to love this new version of herself. Weight gain isn't just physical - it's the grief of clothes that no longer fit, of photos that feel uncomfortable to look at, of a body that no longer matches how you feel inside. It's tough to explain how disorienting it is to feel so detached from your own reflection, like your mind and body are no longer speaking the same language... It hurts. - But what I'm slowly realising is, that self-love isn't a feeling that magically blossoms from thin air. Self-love is built in the small, quiet actions that you take every day. It's in nourishing your body with food and water even when you feel you don't deserve care. It's in letting yourself rest when life gets chaotic. It's in gently moving your body instead of punishing it. Self-love is powered by these seemingly miniscule actions. But those actions, they carry magnitudes of love. Another thing I'm realising is, that our bodies are extraordinary. My body carried me through mental health episodes, sleepless nights, medications, trauma, and moments I wasn't sure I'd survive. It breathes for me when I forget to. It keeps my heart beating when I feel numb. It fights off infections, heals cuts, and keeps me alive without asking for permission. I've spent so much of my time and energy hating my body, but I have never stopped to admire how magical it is. Even through all the hatred I threw at myself, my body never stopped loving me. So yes, I still feel like an outsider in my own skin. I still don't love what I see in the mirror. But I'm slowly learning to respect my body. It has been there for me through all the highs and lows. It allows me to dance, sing, and even cry. It's the one constant I will always have in life - the least I can do is respect it. My message for today is that loving your body doesn't start in the mirror. It starts with small, quiet acts of self-kindness. We can't hate ourselves into loving ourselves - but we can choose compassion, one day at a time. Lots of love, Sach x

There are days when everything feels heavier. Some days fold in on themselves. The light feels dimmer, your breath feels heavier, and your own thoughts echo louder than ever. On days like these, it's terrifyingly easy to give in to the darkness, to forget the truth and believe that this single, aching moment is the whole story. But a bad day, or even many, does not equate to a lifetime. A bad day is a cloud passing through the sun that still shines brightly. The cloud may feel colossal, sinister, and overpowering... But that cloud can never extinguish the sun. A bad day may slow you, bend you, exhaust you, but it can never define you. It can never erase the laughter you've lived, the progress you've made, or the hope that flickered in you yesterday and will return again tomorrow. Do you know what a bad day means? It means you're alive . It means you're still here, still fighting - and that matters more than anything. The difference between a bad day and a bad life is simply the fact that... one ends. The other doesn't. And your life? It's still inundated with pages you haven't written yet. There are still so many memories to make, so much love to experience, and peace so serene that you cannot even fathom it yet. It's okay to crumble today. You're allowed to feel lost, scared, or even numb. But don't mistake the weight of today for the shape of your entire life. Your story is bigger than this hour. Your heart is greater than this heaviness. And your strength? I cannot begin to quantify how strong you are. Keep remembering, that the light will always return. The tide pulls back. The pain will fade. Remember that emotions have motion - everything is temporary, and nothing remains stagnant forever. Hold onto hope, faith, and magic - because they exist. Not in the way that fairy tales told us, but in the way that we get to experience life. There's magic in the way our heart beats, the way we breathe, and the way we love and dream. Every fibre and cell in your body is fighting for you, and that in itself is magical. Let this day be what it is - a passing shadow. Don't give it the power of a lifetime. You are still becoming. You are still unfolding. You are still here . And that alone is proof that your life is so much more than today. With all my love, Sach x

Welcome to Serenity by SACH. Serenity is a mental health blog dedicated to providing support, tips, and stories related to dealing with mental health issues. Welcome to Serenity by SACH Serenity is a mental health blog dedicated to providing support, tips, and stories related to dealing with mental health issues. Here, you will find a safe space to explore personal experiences and gain valuable insights into managing mental health challenges. My mission is to offer a platform where individuals can find comfort, share their stories, and access resources to navigate the complexities of mental health. Through a combination of personal narratives, advice, and community support, I strive to create a nurturing environment that promotes understanding, acceptance, and resilience. Join me on this journey as we shed light on various mental health issues and empower one another with knowledge and compassion. Together, we can break the stigma and foster a sense of serenity in the midst of life's challenges. About Me My name is SACH I wanted to start this blog to create a safe space for anyone struggling with their mental health. I myself have struggled with my own mental health as I have Bipolar Type 1. I have always been passionate about this and I have finally created an outlet for me to express my devotion to bettering mental health. I am by no means an expert, and I am still a work in progress, but this blog is to share my story and what I've learnt along my journey, and to help others in the best way I can. Read My Story

We can’t find the page you’re looking for This page doesn’t exist. Go to Home and keep exploring. Go to Home

for when you need a helpful hand, here are some mental health resources, based in the UK Mental Health Resources For When You Need More Than Just a Listening Ear If you're struggling with your mental health right now, just know that you are not alone. Know that you are so strong, and I know you're sick and tired of being strong, but keep fighting. I know it's hard to see the light right now, but I can assure you that beautiful things are heading your way. Keep your faith that the universe will reward your strength with goodness and love. You're going to be okay, I promise. You got this. Sach x Organisations/Websites Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 if you are struggling with your mental health and want to talk to someone. It is free and confidential. (giveusashout.org) Rethink Mental Illness (rethink.org) offers support groups and services across England. betterhelp.com connects you with a licensed therapist online without a GP referral. hubofhope.co.uk is a database of local mental health support. youthaccess.org.uk provides information about local counselling and advice services for young people aged 11-25. baatn.org.uk is a directory of accredited therapists and services with expertise in working with African, Caribbean and South Asian experiences. pinktherapy.com provides a directory of licensed therapists who work with LGBTQIA+ clients. youngminds.org.uk offers a wide range of information and support for youth, carers, and professionals.