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It all started when I was 12... Before, I was a happy, bubbly, charismatic individual. Life was beautiful and worth living. But then the monster of depression hit. I suddenly was not myself anymore. I was a shell of a human being. I became enveloped in misery. I was drowning in panic attacks, low self-esteem, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. At 13, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Life then became a never-ending whirlwind of doctors appointments, different therapists, and multiple antidepressants. It never seemed to end. At 15, I thought my life was over. I remember laying out all my pills, counting to see if they could actually end my life. I remember holding a knife to my chest, waiting to pluck up the courage to plunge it into my body. I remember locking myself in the bathroom, cutting my skin, whilst my poor mother sat outside begging me to open the door. That's what life was like for me. Never-ending pain. Multiple medications and doctors later, I find myself at age 20, in my final year at university. I was finally doing well for once. I was consistent in my studies, I was exercising, I was cooking and eating well, and I was having a blast with my friends. Life finally gave me a break, and I was soaking up all the sunshine. I then go on a trip with my friends for a week, and had the time of my life. I was free from the burdens of mental illness, and felt joyful and liberated. Little did I know, coming back home was the start of a downward spiral... In the airport, I began bawling my eyes out, because I was so exhausted. I had hardly slept on the trip, averaging 2 hours a night. I had been awake for about 35 hours straight at this point and had to wait in the airport for even more hours to get our luggage. Even when I got home, I couldn't sleep. The exhaustion was crippling but sleep still eluded me. Aside from the exhaustion, I was ecstatic. I was bouncing off the walls, talking really fast, and was extremely emotional. I thought I was finally cured from my depression and anxiety. I felt invincible. Nothing could stop me. I thought I was the most genius individual and that the universe was sending me signs. In actuality, I was experiencing delusions of grandeur, racing thoughts, goal-oriented behaviour, and excessive energy, the tell-tale signs of a manic episode. Everyone in my life was so concerned about me, and I couldn't fathom why, because I thought this was what life was like when you're not burdened with mental illness. I then go back to my mother's home, and soon became out of control. I still couldn't sleep. I began screaming the house down and acting extremely erratic. Anger fuelled through my blood at the people around me. "Why do you think I'm crazy?! I'm finally cured!" After a call to the mental health crisis team and one sleeping pill later, 999 was called. I felt ridiculed and furious that this situation constituted an 'emergency'. I was then taken to the very hospital I was born in. At first, I was on the phone to my friends, laughing at the situation. It felt comical. I was then waiting for a psychiatrist to come assess me. Waiting, waiting, waiting... Still waiting... Multiple shift changes, a cannula in my arm, no sleep, me effing and blinding at the staff, screaming and crying, begging for the staff to call my parents, I was then detained in a small room with a camera in it. "Oh shit, am I crazy...?". By the time 24 hours had passed, I was finally seen by a psychiatrist. "Great. I'm going to be told that I can go home." Nope. I was then taken across the hospital grounds to another building. "What the fuck is happening...?". I was detained in a psychiatric ward under Section 2 of the Mental Health Act. Long story short, I spent 2 weeks detained there, and it was traumatic to say the least. I spent Christmas and the New Year locked up. I was terrified each night, wondering what stories haunted the ward. I wasn't even told what was wrong with me, why I was there, or when I would be leaving. I was alone in the dark, literally and metaphorically. After 2 weeks passed, I was finally home. I was still very manic even though I was hopped up on so many pills. Soon after, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1, and the crisis team visited me at home for a few weeks. After roughly 2-3 months of being manic, I was coming down off the high. I then became severely depressed and was overwhelmed with anxiety. I was in my final year at university, and yet I could not leave my house. Darkness consumed me. I was, once again, a shell of a human being. I couldn't sit my exams, or do my dissertation, and life, yet again, felt overwhelmingly miserable. I felt like a failure. After some time, I came back on antidepressants (whilst remaining on antipsychotics) and I decided to repeat my final year at university. I started practicing gratitude to the universe. Nature gave me a second chance at life. My recovery journey had just begun. I then took a trip to Thailand for 5 weeks, volunteering in a rural village with my friends, providing Health and Wellbeing workshops to children and monks in the town. I came home, and completed my final year at university. I also began volunteering for Shout, a texting crisis line for people struggling with their mental health. I then graduated from university, with a Bachelor's degree in Criminology and Psychology. I now find myself at 23, in the midst of my Master's degree, studying Forensic Psychology and Mental Health. I am eager to put my experience to good use and help others suffering with mental turmoil. By no means am I cured or the perfect image of mental health. I still have bad days, and I'm still a work in progress, but overall, I can now wholeheartedly say that I am stable, and at peace. My story is one of gratitude. Gratitude for the roof over my head, for the food on my plate, and for the clothes on my back. I am also so grateful to the beautiful people I have met along my journey. From the staff and patients in the ward, to my friends and family. I have to say the biggest thanks to my parents - without them, I wouldn't be here today. I am so grateful to the universe for everything I have been through, because even though it left scars that'll never fade, it made me a stronger, more resilient, and determined person. I now know that I am a multifaceted individual with so much to offer to the world, and so are you. If you're reading this, I hope you know that you are greater than your ups and downs, and that you are stronger than your anguish. I hope you know how wonderfully unique and capable you are. Your existence on this planet is so infinitesimally improbable, so be grateful for being here, and know that you are alive for a reason. Thank you for reading. You're amazing! Sach x

I am grateful for my family who supported me immensely in so many ways. I’m grateful and lucky to be so loved by my parents, and my family, and I’m so lucky to have them. My mum is the best woman I know and if I’m even half  the woman she is when I grow up, I will be so proud. I’m also grateful for all the friends I have made along my journey. To all of you, I am so eternally thankful to have you in my life. Thank you to everyone in my life who has stuck beside me during my highs and my lows – words cannot express my appreciation to you all.   I am grateful for education. I am grateful to be at university and having the opportunity to study the subject of my dreams. I cannot convey how excited and lucky I am for the opportunity to further my education and become a badass forensic psychologist in the future.   I am beyond grateful for the roof over my head, for the food on my plate, and for the money to live a comfortable life. I’m grateful for the material goods and technology at my disposal, and the ability to communicate with my loved ones. I’m grateful for the period I live in, and I’m grateful for the opportunities I have, like the ability to travel, and connect with different cultures. I’m grateful to live in a western country where we have access to so many things, knowledge, and opportunities. I’m so appreciative to the universe for providing me with these luxuries that many do not have.   I’m grateful for the people in the world, especially for those I haven’t met yet but will make a significant impact on my life. I’m thankful to those who make a substantial and positive influence on society and speak up for marginalised communities. I’m grateful for charities, shelters, hospitals, clinics, and all the people who contribute to them. I’m grateful for doctors, nurses, scientists, mental health practitioners, lawyers, police, paramedics, teachers, and activists for helping and advocating for others. These kinds of selfless beings are the true essence of humanity.   I’m grateful for sunsets, and sunrises, for the sea, and the snow. I’m grateful for animals, plants, and nature. I’m grateful for the blue sky, and the rain. I’m grateful for movies, shows, music, art, books, dancing, and laughter. I am grateful for my able body, for the legs that can dance, eyes that can read, ears to hear the music, and a nose to smell the roses. The world is so beautiful and surreal and I’m so lucky to be living in it.   I’m grateful for me. I’m grateful for my health, my sanity, and my wellbeing. I’m grateful for my determination, my perseverance, and my strength. I thank myself for getting me through adversity, and I am so grateful for my voice and that I can speak up about mental health.   My message today is to be grateful for what you have, especially the little things. There are so many people in the world who could only dream of experiencing what we have. Always thank the universe for putting you on this earth, because our lives are so infinitely extraordinary!   Sach x

There are often times that we feel like we’re not enough, or we aren’t where we’re supposed to be in life. We feel behind or that we’re lacking things. We feel we aren’t good enough or there are people that are further along in life than us. Whether it be in your career, or your fitness, or your love life, or your mental health, we often feel inadequate.   As human beings, we compare ourselves to everyone else. We think that everyone else’s lives are so perfect. I certainly do. I have definitely caught myself comparing my life to my friends, or acquaintances, or even successful pioneers. Why am I not as skinny as them? Why am I not as successful as them? Why am I not as confident as them? Why do I still struggle when others are so happy? We also compare ourselves to where we think we should be in life. We compare our real selves with our ideal optimal self, or even our past self. We wish we could be as happy as we were when we were kids, or as successful as we thought we would be.   You might be worried about what to do next, or where your life is heading. Even if you’re not where you feel you should be, that’s okay. Your time is coming. Even when times are tough, even when you have no idea what you’re doing or what your purpose is, even when you want to compare yourself to others, you are EXACTLY where you’re supposed to be in order to become the best version of yourself. I urge you to focus on the present moment and be grateful for all that you have overcome and achieved.   Remember there was a time when your main goal was to pass your GCSEs. You did that. There was a time when getting into university was your biggest priority. You did that. There was a time when you were struggling physically or mentally, and you overcame it. You did that. There was a time when you thought you wouldn’t even be alive to see today. You did that. Whether your journey looks similar to others, or it’s vastly different, you have overcome insurmountable odds to be exactly where you are right now. You have already achieved things that your kid self could only dream about.   Growth isn’t linear. Success isn’t linear. Life is not straightforward. There are ALWAYS going to be ups, downs, and plateaus. But that’s what makes the journey so wonderful. Life is all about learning. The past that you’ve experienced has gotten you to where you are right now. And that’s exactly where you should be. Each experience will teach you a lesson, and this position you’re in right now, will teach you something astonishing. Hindsight is beautiful.   We have all forgotten to stop, breathe, and realise that we have already achieved so much more than we could’ve dreamed of. Our younger selves would be so proud of us right now. Be thankful for where you are right now. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in life. When you live in the present moment, and exercise gratitude, the universe will set out a path for you that will make your soul glow with ecstasy.    My message today is that your younger self is already so proud of you. So, smile, right now, because you’re exactly where you should be.   Sach x